I am a Correctional Officer

I have a uniform, and various badges, and a utility belt! It pretty much kicks ass, in every way.

I'm in a class of 12 people during basic training. I've nicknamed them as follows (These are all in jest. I mean no disrespect to some very cool people I'm getting to work with):

Testosterone: Everything he says is either intended to puff himself up, or make himself look better to other people. He can never leave a joke without some kind of witty addition. Example:

"Man, the best way to gain weight fast is McDonalds. One time I had to gain 5 pounds for a match, and you can sure bet I made it!"

"Ha, dude, I bet you gained like, 10 pounds!"

"Yeah! Ha, like, 9.5!! HAR HAR HAR"

Also known as: Douche Bag.

Son Goku: Is about the size of Goku from Dragon Ball Z. He can bench 300 lbs and is Testosterone's best friend (since they started working together at least)

Also known as: Muscle Head.

FrankenElf: Looks like a mix of Frankenstein's Monster and any elf from your typical fantasy movie/book. He's 5'7" and 125 lbs, just barely smaller than I am, and has this fierce gaze. He looks older than he is, and has an unusual skin tone and some grey hair. He looks pretty odd, yes, but is a cool guy.

Also known as: Frankenstein.

Swanson Man: He looks like exactly who you'd expect to be delivering Swanson food, and interestingly, he actually WAS a Swanson man before this job. He's big and tall and looks like a total computer nerd. Completely out of place for a group of prison guards.

Also known as: Maytag Repairman Apprentice (The guy in the new Maytag Commercials).

Baby Face: He's twenty, but looks like a chubby sixteen year old.

Father Time: He's the oldest looking in the bunch, but isn't actually that old. Judging by his behavior though when he's around Testosterone, he really misses his youth. Every time he and Testosterone are near eachother, he tries really hard to fit in. Fun to watch.

Pizza Neck: He has an abundance of acne on his neck. However, he has the coolest real name ever, and I'll gladly salute him for it.

Also known as: Shy Kid.

Mole: Think "The Mole" from the movie "Goldmember". Yeah...

Also known as: Cussing tiger hidden mole-nose.

Nice Lady: I can't think of a name for her.

Anime Girl: Her eyes are like... round on the inside, and pointy on the outside, which is just amazing looking. They really remind me of some character's eyes from the Anime film "Spirited Away."

Also known as: Tramp Stamp.

Top Gun: He mentioned that he planned to go into the Air Force if this job doesn't pan out. Ironically, he has a very Tom Cruise from Top Gun haircut so maybe it'll work out well for him.

Also known as: Tom Cruise.

Me: I'm awesome, and everything I say is awesome and true, and I'm never wrong, because I'm a manly man.

Also known as: The most fricken humble person who ever existed, without a doubt.