Saturday, October 17, 2009

And on the second day

we got in a car crash and died. The end.

We had a great vacation actually. The weather was perfect every day, the people and the food and the outdoors were all fantastic. I rode my first motorcycle, and gave Rachel a frightening ride around the block. I even got a bleeding blister on my big toe!

There was a little four-wheeling in the sand dunes and around the desert countryside and I got the flu and everything!

The worst part, easily, was the trip home. A few hours before we left my parent's house, I barfed so hard that the blood vessels in my eyelids burst. I spent the next 13 hours either in an airport, on a plane, or in a car feeling like crap. I'd call it the worst day of my life if Rachel weren't taking care of me. She was wonderful the whole time and did everything for me that I needed.

It was really nice to see my family even if it was only for a couple days. My dad gave me a rad gun and I can't wait to get it and shoot it some more here at home. I sighted it in and everything, so it shoots really well. I'm thinking of mounting a rack in the living room to put it on display. It's really a work of art with the engraving. Would make a great conversation piece.

And can I say how much I want a motorcycle right now? I'll have my car paid off next month, so I could easily finally have a bike this spring. I can't wait. I can't wait to pay off my car. How cool would that be?

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Travel: Day 1

So, yesterday, Rachel and I flew and drove to Utah. We drove from our little town to Oklahoma City airport (by far the cheapest place for us to fly out of) and waited around for a few hours before our flight. The plane was delayed because of some ice buildup on the wings and we missed the connecting flight from Denver to Las Vegas. So we hit Denver and waited around in the cold for a few hours, then on to Vegas, where my parents and brother picked us up. We drove down the strip (very crowded on Saturday night) and then drove to St. George. Everyone collapsed to bed.

I'm not a big flyer. I do it so rarely I haven't gotten comfortable with it, so I had a nonstop adrenaline rush for about nine hours. I hate that feeling. Rachel was really good company and didn't get upset. We spent a ridiculous amount of money on Chinese food in the airport.

A few good things though. I managed to type out two chapters to my upcoming book while bored in the airport. I also got an awesome birthday present from my Dad. He engraved a beautiful wood rifle stock with Native American petroglyphic marks and my name. He's had the rifle since I was a little kid and I've always wanted it, and now it's all personalized for me. Can't wait to go sight it in.

A potentially bad thing: I may have requested the wrong days off at work. Well, at least one. I got a few calls from my boss last night asking if I planned to show up at work. I called him back and told him I was in Vegas, so, no, I would not be showing up. I'm positive that I was approved for vacation last night, but I don't have a copy of that record with me right now. I'll have to wait until I get home to see if I accidentally screwed up...

Friday, October 9, 2009

Three Things AKA Forthcoming Autumn Pissiness

1: A minor gripe, but still, who texts happy birthday to someone? Apparently all of my friends and family. I mean, I don't really care much for birthday celebrations, but if ten people are going to remember for once, is it wrong to expect even one of them to call and ask how I am? I seriously appreciate that people remembered (or saw the facebook notification) but if you care about my life and aren't just trying to save face, then call me. I promise I'm fairly pleasant to talk to and I like to make jokes about things.

2: Vandalism. It's not witty to rearrange the letters on a Salvation Army marquis to say "God hates goons and nigs". Let's try to be above the protesters that are not important enough for me to remember their name from Topeka that think God hates everyone. You're stupid, they're stupid, and all this hate is really bringing the world down. Go fuck yourself, haters.

3: Hey, Kansas drivers. Please learn to drive. If necessary, go back to driving school or driver's ed, or some equivalent to LEARNING TO DRIVE YOU IMBECILES. First off, if you pull out in front of me and I am forced to hit my brakes to avoid colliding with you, then you are a shitty driver. If an accident were to occur YOU WOULD BE AT FAULT. If you are at a stop sign, you are required to STOP until the road is CLEAR. Secondly, let me reiterate that a STOP sign means STOP until the road is CLEAR. If there is a pedestrian in the road, it is NOT clear. Do NOT go. Do NOT press your fungi-infested ingrown-toenailed hairy-ass foot onto the accelerator when there is a PERSON in the ROAD. If you hit me, YOU ARE AT FAULT. I CAN SUE YOU. I WILL SUE YOU. I WILL ALSO KICK YOU IN THE BALLS AND FACE. YOU MORON.


Thursday, October 1, 2009

Money Bag

I like metal money. Seriously, it's super cool and not many people use it. It's totally eco-friendly because coins don't get destroyed as easily as paper money. Also, it's totally rad to throw a money bag at someone as payment for something while you turn into the sunset, smoking a cigarette and never looking back. I'm talking about a badass money bag like this one:
How cool is that! I just cut up some old footie pajamas that didn't fit me, lined it with a piece of black cloth and used an elastic hair-piece to seal it off and now I'm the proud owner of a SMALL WALLET. It holds 99 rupees.
Someday when I try to purchase the red tunic I might need to track down an ADULT MONEY BAG.
But with only 27 dollars in Gold Dollars and Silver Half-dollars, I think the regular wallet will be fine. Someday I may get a GIANT WALLET to store up to 999 rupees!