Coolest Dream

During my ritualistic eight-hour sleep cycle, I envisioned a series of images that played out in succession to form which came to me in the sense of a moving picture. I believe the archaic term is "movie-film".

In this Mental Film of sorts, I saw myself with BRUCE LEE, brought back by the power of SCIENCE. We traveled together to avoid slaughter by the GOOSE CORPORATION, who wanted BRUCE dead. Since Bruce and I did not want him DEAD, we decided to be totally BADASS and HIDE.

There was a CHICK in this vision as well, and she was BRUCE'S new girlfriend, cause I guess he was no longer interested in LINDA LEE CALDWELL. She's OLD now.

ANYWAY, after a few intense scenes of running from GOOSE AGENTS, we decided to CAMP OUT in a luxurious hotel to avoid being recognized. UNFORTUNATELY, BRUCE'S newfound LOVE was captured and KILLED off screen.

BRUCE taught me a cool JEET KUNE DO move, and explained that the BASICS of all martial arts are ALL YOU NEED, because you can BUILD from there and KICK ASS by being like WATER. (I still recall this attack post-consciousness that he demonstrated on me and can replicate it.)

At some point, we flew through a DESERT RAVINE on a BIPLANE. Then stole a FERRARI. Unfortunately, that EPIC CHASE SCENE was too much for my BRAIN to handle, and I promptly FORGOT it.

So then BRUCE and I infiltrated a WALMART, to buy some PUTTY STUFF to try and make a cast of his REANIMATED FACE for SOME REASON. I warned him not to buy any cause the GOOSE AGENTS might have POISONED it.

We left WALMART, and sat down to talk. BRUCE asked me, "What do you want to do with YOUR LIFE." I told him, "I want to be special forces. Like, military, or SWAT." To which he replied, "Special forces?" and I said, "Yeah, but my martial arts skills aren't up to par." And I was afraid to ASK HIM to TRAIN me. Then my ALARM CLOCK woke me up.

Man, Bruce Lee.

Untitled

Just finished reading "Watchmen." It was surprisingly good. I remember first seeing the teaser trailer before seeing "The Dark Knight" this summer. I thought it took itself way too seriously. The whole tone of the trailer, the background music, the images on screen... Looked like it was filmed by a bunch of assholes.

However, the hype for this movie is pretty enormous, and the script was done in part by David Hayter, whom I have a slight man-crush on.

I ended up buying the graphic novel, and read it in three sittings. The book is incredible, really. It was a great reading experience, tugging at all of my emotions over the course of the story. At times I was angry and frustrated (particularly at Rorschach) and at other times, I was hopeful (Laurie and Nite Owl's relationship). A lot of unsuspecting things happened, and it was just really cool to read and see. My only complaint is that the last chapter was quite rushed. The course of events would have taken more panels and words to adequately describe anywhere else in the comic, yet it was rather condensed (Veidt's monologue at the end was cut considerably, as admitted by the authors.) and I would have appreciated more things to see.

Now that I got it out of the way though, I can concentrate more on my own writing. On that front, I've opened up a second blog that I may eventually buy (the domain name, I mean). The site is meant to showcase my writing, putting updates on the book, excerpts, older stories, etc. I figure this will be my personal thoughts blog, the other will be the business blog. When it's ready, I'll release it's glory upon my readership. Both of you.

However, I hit a small snag with the site. See, my old computer I had in college had a lot of my writing on it. Hundreds of haiku, a lot of poetry, and tons of ideas for new stories. I had the first chapter to a really cool post-apocalyptic dystopia story written out. I was quite impressed with it, but I didn't finish the second chapter because I didn't know enough about the Cold War to really flesh it out. At the time, I didn't do much for rough drafts, just outlining and the best final draft I could in the first go. I've since refined my technique by churning out more words and then sifting out the gold parts.

I've been writing a lot at work. Usually I have a few hours of downtime, inbetween security checks and such. I take lots of notes and write down passages of story as they come to me. It's really exciting for me to see this thing come together, because it's so much better than anything else I've written, and it's only a couple thousand words so far. I'm devoted to making this as thorough and detailed as possible, without being too hammed up and concise to enjoy (something I know my previous stories have suffered from.), so that's what the site is for. I'm going to release little bits of what I like, and then improve on it and release it and hopefully get feedback from people.

On a more personal front, it appears that I may have genuine Narcolepsy. I finally got my sleep study results, two months + after the fact. Paid twenty dollars just to have the doctor read them aloud to me. Waste of time and money really, but I did learn that my sleep test was normal, however the sleep study doctor dude said I exhibit symptoms of mild cataplexy, and when you take that into account of falling asleep at work, even while talking to people and filling out paperwork, it leans towards Narcolepsy and they're going to subject me to more tests probably in February. The 29th is my consultation with a specialist. Whoopie. I decided I can't risk my safety any longer and I scheduled another appointment for Monday to ask for a drug called Modafinil. It's used to treat excessive sleepiness and shift-work sleep disorder and seasonal depression disorder. Three things I kinda have right now. Normally I wouldn't ask doctor's for drugs, but the last thing I want is to be taken advantage of while I'm dosing off in a room of 100+ inmates (which happens regularly when I have to supervise the cafeteria... 4 out of 5 workdays a week.) or not being able to respond to an emergency because I'm nodding off and don't hear the radio. That's my justification, perhaps it's overexaggerated, but I'm sticking to it for now unless my conscience or something gets the better of me.

Let's see... Not much else to report. Been working out a few times a week, and I'm seeing noticeable results. I can bench more than I've ever been able to in my life, and I can kick higher and faster than ever before. My chest is bigger, but I haven't gained any weight. Must just be losing a little bit of the teeny layer of fat on my arms and stomach and replacing it with a little muscle. Not that I want to get really buff, mind you, I just want to be able to defend myself if I have to at work. I'm analyzing my workouts, reading up on workout methods and such, really refining what I do, but above all, I think I just need to eat more. If I didn't care about eating healthy, I could get by on less than 50 bucks a month in groceries, but now I pay probably over 100 for myself now. I'm never going to get out of debt that way though...

Thoughts

I was driving home from the house of my friend Laurie tonight. It's about 35 miles I guess from my driveway to hers. Glancing out my driver's side window, I caught a glimpse of the Orion's Belt constellation. Every time I see it I seem to think it should be smaller. I swear when I was a kid, the constellation was about half the size as it is now. Perhaps it's just my imagination, but I'm always surprised at how vast it appears and how brightly the stars shine.

So, while I'm looking out, thinking of the vastness of the universe, a truck comes in my direction in the opposite lane, so I dim my high-beams and wonder, "What's that guy's story?"

What is any guy's story, really?

I woke up this morning about 7:45 AM. I had crashed at Laurie's house since I was still a bit sick from the flu and she had heating blankets and ibuprofin. I woke up this morning almost 100% better, and for some reason, quite emotional. I went to the doctor, got my new graphics card for the computer (Can't use it cause my power supply will burn out within seconds if I plug it in) and went back to Laurie's to drop her off.

On the way, I was explaining the basic plot of the musical, "Wicked" based off the novel by Gregory Maguire. While listening to the music, I don't know what exactly was happening, maybe hormones or some other brain chemicals were going wild, but I was on the brink of tears while listening to the first few tracks of the Broadway recording. Now, I always get the chills on the first track, "No One Mourns the Wicked". But this was ridiculous. (I do feel I relate to it in a way, for a long time being a non-Mormon in a heavily dominant Mormon town, I felt "wicked")

I also watched Obama's 30 minute... thing tonight. I dunno what to call it. It was a campaign ad, but it was mostly about American people that he intends to help as President. Whatever it was, it nearly put me in tears. This time, tears of joy, which I've only had like, twice in my life (both forced, to an extent, by the way) were right on the brink of falling out of my eyeballs.

I swear this all ties together in some way.

Another thing I've been doing recently in my spare time is studying the I-Ching. I had never heard of it actually until I read a book compiled from notes written by the late Bruce Lee called, Artist of Life. Apparently Lee had studied and contemplated it in his life, and since I'm a raging fanboy and want to do everything Bruce did, I got myself a copy. I got myself the supposed difinitive ultra awesome new translation by a guy who was imprisoned and tortured in China years ago and now teaches Tai Chi in California. (He has a pretty impressive life history actually, and writes a very... full book. There is so much information on each page that it would take years to understand even half of it, but it's not so dense that you can't get a little tidbit of great philosophy every time you sit and read it.)

In this book, the process of the universe, and in a way, a look at the Tao is explained. The cycle of the world is based upon 64 guas that each describe a moment or process in life that moves on to the next. The first two gua as "Taoist Master Alfred Huang" lists them are "Heaven" and "Earth", more commonly known as Yang and Yin. Positive and negative. To have a working knowledge of positive and negative, heaven and earth, you can effectively deflect anything undesireable in your life, neutralizing conflict and bringing peace to others, as well as your own mind.

Stay with me here, we have a few topics to remember. 1.) The universe is big, 2.) I'm interested in people, 3.) I'm hyper-emotional (Hyper-positive), 4.) My thoughts, of late, have been of peace and harmony.

Lastly, my younger brother and I were discussing a few nights ago about doing something big in life. This is a hard thing to define, because some people make amazing accomplishments within their mind, that no one can see, and no one will ever celebrate them because it is not visible. On the other hand, people that build big things and produce amazing tangible works in their lifetimes are remembered forever, even if it took little effort in the grand scheme of things.

So, in the realm of possibility, what could I possibly do to positively make a big impact on the world, while remaining within the balance of Yin and Yang? How can I help humans? Is it even my place to help others? What am I robbing people of by nosing my way into their lives?

My grandpa often offers to buy me things, take me out to dinner, make my life comfortable in a material sense whenever I am visiting him. He does this for his family because, in his mind, he will reap benefits and blessings here and in heaven for doing such good deeds. There is a minor flaw in that mindset, I believe, but it's a respectable outlook on life. If we refuse his offer, he usually gives us a spiel about how it "robs him of his blessings" because we are preventing him from doing a good deed.

Now, normally I don't buy into that "robbing of blessings" outlook. But I often use that tactic when I'm trying to help someone that doesn't want to be helped.



You know what, I'm incredibly tired right now and have completely lost the focus of this entry in the past two paragraphs.

Let me just get it out there while I can: I want to overthrow a Columbian drug cartel and start making millions shipping blow all over the world, buying an island nation, and beginning my ascent into world domination. That's it.

At the doctor today: She said she wanted me to get lab work done to make sure I didn't have diabetes or some kind of chronic health problem that was causing me to sleep so much (I have hypersombulism, which may be due to narcolepsy or sleep apnea and a lack of oxygen) and I'm also going to get a sleep study done sometime in the next week or two. I may also see a specialist and get some drugs if a proper diagnosis can't be found soon.

I still need to talk to a doctor about my hearing. I have a slight suspicion that my social problems are, in some way, due to hearing loss and the inability to follow conversation very well. Maybe it's just a vain hope that I'm unpopular due to some 3rd party, rather than having to blame myself, or maybe it's something that could actually, if understood and taken care of, help me develop more friendships.

NaNoWriMo 2008!

So I'm going to try again this year. One novel, one month to write it.

www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/234985

I'm not sure what to write about yet, as I have 5 or 6 good ideas swimming through my head at any given moment. It'll probably be about an epic magical adventure with Bruce Lee. It'll be the dumbest most awesome story ever.

Ironically enough, it's taken me about an hour to complete this blog, which doesn't say much for my ability to put out 50000 words in a month.

2 Thoughts from Bruce Lee

Most of anyone that hears "Bruce Lee" basically lets their mind jump immediately to "That karate guy" or "That actor." Bruce was actually much more than just a Martial Arts master and actor. He was quite the philosopher, and attended college, majoring in Philosophy. A good portion of his education after college was straight out of books that he would read, many of which were psychology books. Here are two quotes from his private notes that are good to think about.

"Maturation is the development from environmental support to self-support."

"I cannot teach you; only help you to explore yourself. Nothing more."

If you have the time, think about what those lines mean, both as separate entities, and how they relate to eachother. You might be so lucky as to realize something about yourself, as I did.