Shady Business Practices and Watchmen

So, quick little story. I stop by this pawn shop in town and look at guns a couple times. There is one in particular that catches my eye, and so I do some research, think it over, and decide that I'll invest. Rachel and I head down there from my house, excitement in tow, where I inspect the gun, and inform the sweet-faced gentleman behind the counter that I would like to make a purchase. The first thing that should have tipped me off was that he didn't card me for handling the weapon. A person under 21 isn't allowed to play with the pistolos in the store. I look a bit old for my age though, so I didn't really think much.

Anyway, I fill out the background check form and sign it. He asks nonchalantly, "Can I get your Driver's License real quick to wrap this up? We'll have it done and you'll be on your way in about five minutes." I whip out my holofoil Wyoming License and flick it out at him, and he takes a step back, looks at the ID and says, "Do you have a Kansas ID? I can't do the check without one."

I tell him that I've been using the Wyoming license since I moved here nearly a year ago, and he barely hesitates before turning to Rachel and asking her, "You have a license right?"

She turns to me with wide eyes, and then my eyes go wide in response to that. The gentleman at the counter tempts her with such pretty words, such as, "It's just for the background check. I can't sell the weapon without someone being checked. Don't worry, no records are kept anywhere but here. Don't worry, unless you have a felony on your record."

Rachel was cool with it, and she did the background check, and then had to pay for the gun (since it would look weird if any ATF guys were to come in and see that the background check was on Rachel but the gun was paid for by Chris).

That's pretty much it. Kansas doesn't register weapons to people, and Person-to-Person gun sales aren't really monitored (Since I technically bought the gun from Rachel), so we didn't do anything particularly illegal, but it's awfully shady for someone to knowingly sell a gun to a person for someone else.

Went to see Watchmen last night. Was entertaining. Enjoyed the film overall, but figured strangers to comic would be confused, uninterested. Artistic liberties necessary, but unobtrusive. Mostly wise. Missed Rorschach's attack on kid with cigarette. Good times.

I am a Correctional Officer

I have a uniform, and various badges, and a utility belt! It pretty much kicks ass, in every way.

I'm in a class of 12 people during basic training. I've nicknamed them as follows (These are all in jest. I mean no disrespect to some very cool people I'm getting to work with):

Testosterone: Everything he says is either intended to puff himself up, or make himself look better to other people. He can never leave a joke without some kind of witty addition. Example:

"Man, the best way to gain weight fast is McDonalds. One time I had to gain 5 pounds for a match, and you can sure bet I made it!"

"Ha, dude, I bet you gained like, 10 pounds!"

"Yeah! Ha, like, 9.5!! HAR HAR HAR"

Also known as: Douche Bag.

Son Goku: Is about the size of Goku from Dragon Ball Z. He can bench 300 lbs and is Testosterone's best friend (since they started working together at least)

Also known as: Muscle Head.

FrankenElf: Looks like a mix of Frankenstein's Monster and any elf from your typical fantasy movie/book. He's 5'7" and 125 lbs, just barely smaller than I am, and has this fierce gaze. He looks older than he is, and has an unusual skin tone and some grey hair. He looks pretty odd, yes, but is a cool guy.

Also known as: Frankenstein.

Swanson Man: He looks like exactly who you'd expect to be delivering Swanson food, and interestingly, he actually WAS a Swanson man before this job. He's big and tall and looks like a total computer nerd. Completely out of place for a group of prison guards.

Also known as: Maytag Repairman Apprentice (The guy in the new Maytag Commercials).

Baby Face: He's twenty, but looks like a chubby sixteen year old.

Father Time: He's the oldest looking in the bunch, but isn't actually that old. Judging by his behavior though when he's around Testosterone, he really misses his youth. Every time he and Testosterone are near eachother, he tries really hard to fit in. Fun to watch.

Pizza Neck: He has an abundance of acne on his neck. However, he has the coolest real name ever, and I'll gladly salute him for it.

Also known as: Shy Kid.

Mole: Think "The Mole" from the movie "Goldmember". Yeah...

Also known as: Cussing tiger hidden mole-nose.

Nice Lady: I can't think of a name for her.

Anime Girl: Her eyes are like... round on the inside, and pointy on the outside, which is just amazing looking. They really remind me of some character's eyes from the Anime film "Spirited Away."

Also known as: Tramp Stamp.

Top Gun: He mentioned that he planned to go into the Air Force if this job doesn't pan out. Ironically, he has a very Tom Cruise from Top Gun haircut so maybe it'll work out well for him.

Also known as: Tom Cruise.

Me: I'm awesome, and everything I say is awesome and true, and I'm never wrong, because I'm a manly man.

Also known as: The most fricken humble person who ever existed, without a doubt.