Turn-downs and frowns upside-down

I went to the mall in Wichita the other night cause Walmart here didn't have Batman Begins in stock on Bluray. It's only a 30 minute drive, so we took off. We got to the mall, and not 20 steps through the doors, we get hounded by some foreign chick trying to sell us a fancy nail-file for 60 bucks. Well, Laurie got hounded, I just kept walking, and then they yelled at me and had me stand around and make sarcastic swipes at everything swipable. I eventually told the girl, "Hey, we'll take some of your devil cream for one date. A date with me." She laughed. "If you play your cards right, you might even get lucky."

She said, "The cream for a date?"

I said, "No way. The date for the cream!" Implying that there was no way I'd accept such a product, unless she paid me, in the form of a date. (I just want that to be clear.)

So then she said, "I have a boyfriend!"

"Can I beat him up?"

"I dunno, ask him."

"Where is he?"

She points to a guy not five feet away, listening to our whole conversation, selling the exact same lotion and nail-file crap. He waved. I said, "What'sup?"

Then I ran.

Also, today I got a call from the El Dorado Correctional Facility. They want me to come in for a test/interview on the 24th to become a jailer/correctional officer. Go me.