Warfare, or as close as I think I can get

I'm listening to Justin Timberlake's "What Goes Around" at the moment (I've had it on repeat), which is the touching love story between a pair of clever misfits caught in a world where parents just don't understand... or something equally awesome. Actually, it's more of a classic story of love and betrayal, which for no logical reason reminds me of West Side Story, except I'm pretty sure JT can dance circles around most of the original cast of WSS. Plus I'd rather hear him sing Maria than Richard Beymer. Actually, after listening to that, I think I want to hear a techno-funk beat remix to the original one. That'd be badass.

But not as badass as me.

What I'm getting around to is how I pictured a gritty remake of West Side Story starring J Timberlake as our Puerto Rican/Cuban/Latin-something-or-other lead (I'm sure some Hollywood makeup artists can work magic with Justin T's look. I just KNOW it.). This thought, of course, led to another tangent in my mind.

A few weeks ago, as I was moving to Kansas, I stayed at the home of my ex-roomates, Erik and Shea. Since I don't want to get caught on the wrong side of the tracks in Laramie, Wyoming, running the risk of having some college dropout all hopped up on cheap beer and five-dollar shit-pizza from Little Caesar's stealing my hubcaps, I keep a loaded pistol with me at all times. When I whipped out my handgun in front of Erik, he was delightfully surprised. Then I whipped out my pistol and he was frightened because he is afraid of guns made of metal that shoot bullets of another type of metal.

I said, "Why are you afraid of guns?" to which he replied, "I've just never been good around them. They make me nervous." Of course, I, being a smug, attractive, gun-loving bastard, had to convince him that guns are AWESOME when held by a BADASS, so I grabbed a cigarette off the coffeetable (because coffee and cigarettes with an ambiguous past ownership are manly as hell) pulled my trademark hat down a bit, and sunk into character--

*A man with no past, and no future. He has fought to save nothing but himself in this kill or be-killed world. Armed only with his wits, his cigarettes, and this large caliber semi-auto pistol, he fights in hopes to one day find what he is fighting for.*

I GOT A NEW CAMERA PHONE AND THIS IS ME TAKING HAWT PICS OF MISELF!